plastic frog

 I know the title sounds terrible, but that is how I feel. Of course I have to work to live, and I know I am incredibly privileged to be able to work.  I just feel so lost when I think about the time I have to spend working and the things that I would actually enjoy that I could do instead. And I'll probably have to work until I'm like 70 which is about 50 years of work. When I get home I am exhausted. I do my laundry. I cook for myself. I take a shower, do my skincare routine. I have no energy for much else. I'm just reading "The Wind-up Bird Chronicle" and there is this scene quite in the beginning of the book where Toru Okada makes himself spaghetti while reading a book and it's so simple but seems so chill. I crave this lifestyle. Having no pressure to do something great. Just existing and being.  I know I sound lazy and demented but I genuinly am scared of being stuck in a job I hate. Day in and day out the same routine. Living on the weekends. Looking fo...

So as you might have guessed from the title I'm moving out very soon. I have only ever lived in one place and to now move somewhere a few hours away from home for a year is very anxiety enducing to me. I've compliled a list of things that help me deal with it, maybe it can help someone else who is in a similar situation deal with these things too Find out more about the town/city you'll live in One of the things that helped me the most was researching about the place that's soon going to be my home. With that I mean look at the town via google maps, find out as much via google as possible ... Maybe there is an interesting sounding coffee shop nearby that I would want to check out. Further, knowing practical things like how the public transport there works and where the bus/train stations are located give me security and I feel more prepared and not as lost.  Write a packing list This is pretty self explanitory but writing a list of the things you want/need to bring is i...

I've started using a menstrual cup recently (yes I know that I am years late to the "trend") and naturally, before trying it, I watched a ton of YouTube videos prepare, see how it worked and how to use it. The openness in those videos was so refreshing and the people who talked about using a cup seemed so confident and comfortable in their bodies.It made me think about how little menstruation is talked about, even though about half the population menstruates, and how little I myself knew about my own body.  I think a big part of why cups were intimidating to me is because I was (and probably still am) not entierly comfortable with my body. There is a such stigma surounding mensturation and if cis men menstruated, the conversation would be totally different. The cup community felt like a safe space in a world full of euphamisms for the word "period" and blue liquids in advertisments. And no, I don't advocate for the buzzfeed-paint-with-used-tampons type of fe...

 (Yes this is about SOPHIE) First off, it is okay and valid to feel sad about a person you didn't personally know dying.  In a way you had a relationship with them, you "knew" them for years, maybe even decades and you feel as though you grew with them and you changed with them. This parasocial relationship was one sided of course, but it often doesn't feel like it. I find that, especially with musicians, because they put so much (or seemingly so much) of their own personality into their music, we feel as though they are speaking directly to us. For me, and probably many people out there, music and specific songs are connected to so many memories. I saw rumours about her passing on Twitter first thing in the morning and it was like someone kicked me in the stomach. It hurt. I still can't listen to "it's okay to cry" without actually crying (thanks for telling me that it's okay <3) or at least feeling this deep sadness and I'm no...