I hate my birthday. There. I said it. I hate hate hate it. I think it’s the fast passing of time that really bothers me. I don’t feel like I am 18, I don’t feel as if I am an adult. I don’t even really want to be an adult, if I am completely honest. The day of my birthday was so strange. My parents don’t really have much time, so I sat by myself in my room (quarantine style) with a cake I had baked for myself the night before and cried my eyes out. I didn’t even know why exactly. A mixture of nostalgia, feeling utterly alone and feeling like I did not accomplish anything in the 18 years that I was on this planet. I made a playlist, especially for my birthday the night before, and so I sat there and cried and cried. This playlist will probably be the playlist of this month, although it's already almost over, but hey. I am so afraid of the future, I am afraid of wasting my life and looking back and feeling like I did exactly nothing. A part of why I was so sad was proba