Skip to main content

I do not want to work

 I know the title sounds terrible, but that is how I feel. Of course I have to work to live, and I know I am incredibly privileged to be able to work. 

I just feel so lost when I think about the time I have to spend working and the things that I would actually enjoy that I could do instead. And I'll probably have to work until I'm like 70 which is about 50 years of work. When I get home I am exhausted. I do my laundry. I cook for myself. I take a shower, do my skincare routine. I have no energy for much else. I'm just reading "The Wind-up Bird Chronicle" and there is this scene quite in the beginning of the book where Toru Okada makes himself spaghetti while reading a book and it's so simple but seems so chill. I crave this lifestyle. Having no pressure to do something great. Just existing and being. 

I know I sound lazy and demented but I genuinly am scared of being stuck in a job I hate. Day in and day out the same routine. Living on the weekends. Looking foreward to friday. My current situation isn't permanent and I'm quite glad about it. I'm afraid of a permanent "real" job. 

I'm probably going abroad or studying next year but I'll have to work eventually and I'm not looking foreward to it. I hope that will change. I hope I'll find my "dream job" or at least something I don't mind. Do people actually exist who love their jobs? My guess is yes, maybe not all the time but I also do not love my life most of the time so it's okay. I wish to be one of those people and I hope that when I read this blog post in ten years (or even five), I'll be happy

Thank you for reading this long text, hugs,

Pluto

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

menstrual cups and feminism

I've started using a menstrual cup recently (yes I know that I am years late to the "trend") and naturally, before trying it, I watched a ton of YouTube videos prepare, see how it worked and how to use it. The openness in those videos was so refreshing and the people who talked about using a cup seemed so confident and comfortable in their bodies.It made me think about how little menstruation is talked about, even though about half the population menstruates, and how little I myself knew about my own body.  I think a big part of why cups were intimidating to me is because I was (and probably still am) not entierly comfortable with my body. There is a such stigma surounding mensturation and if cis men menstruated, the conversation would be totally different. The cup community felt like a safe space in a world full of euphamisms for the word "period" and blue liquids in advertisments. And no, I don't advocate for the buzzfeed-paint-with-used-tampons type of fe...
Post a Comment
Read more

being sad about the passing of a celebrity - and why it is okay

 (Yes this is about SOPHIE) First off, it is okay and valid to feel sad about a person you didn't personally know dying.  In a way you had a relationship with them, you "knew" them for years, maybe even decades and you feel as though you grew with them and you changed with them. This parasocial relationship was one sided of course, but it often doesn't feel like it. I find that, especially with musicians, because they put so much (or seemingly so much) of their own personality into their music, we feel as though they are speaking directly to us. For me, and probably many people out there, music and specific songs are connected to so many memories. I saw rumours about her passing on Twitter first thing in the morning and it was like someone kicked me in the stomach. It hurt. I still can't listen to "it's okay to cry" without actually crying (thanks for telling me that it's okay <3) or at least feeling this deep sadness and I'm no...
Post a Comment
Read more

on having a long term crush on someone

 I know I haven't posted in a long time but life has been stressful. I moved out, changed my workplace and have a totally different life now. It's overwealming. But this isn't what I wanted to talk about today, I wanted to talk about having a longterm crush on someone, in my case it has actually been four years (I know, I'm not proud of it tbh).  Recently I have been writing in my diary again after not doing so for months and I also read old entries from 2018 and it's basically me gushing about someone who I honestly still would totally date and have tried to forget but it is difficult. It's not even like I dated them and we broke up and I can't get over them. Nope, I was in the almost friends phase for a while with them and then Covid came along and with homeschooling the beginning friendship stopped. Honestly, I do think that it was my fault for being super intimidated by them and I probably was weird around them because I was nervous so I do not blame the...
Post a Comment
Read more