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I do not want to work

 I know the title sounds terrible, but that is how I feel. Of course I have to work to live, and I know I am incredibly privileged to be able to work. 

I just feel so lost when I think about the time I have to spend working and the things that I would actually enjoy that I could do instead. And I'll probably have to work until I'm like 70 which is about 50 years of work. When I get home I am exhausted. I do my laundry. I cook for myself. I take a shower, do my skincare routine. I have no energy for much else. I'm just reading "The Wind-up Bird Chronicle" and there is this scene quite in the beginning of the book where Toru Okada makes himself spaghetti while reading a book and it's so simple but seems so chill. I crave this lifestyle. Having no pressure to do something great. Just existing and being. 

I know I sound lazy and demented but I genuinly am scared of being stuck in a job I hate. Day in and day out the same routine. Living on the weekends. Looking foreward to friday. My current situation isn't permanent and I'm quite glad about it. I'm afraid of a permanent "real" job. 

I'm probably going abroad or studying next year but I'll have to work eventually and I'm not looking foreward to it. I hope that will change. I hope I'll find my "dream job" or at least something I don't mind. Do people actually exist who love their jobs? My guess is yes, maybe not all the time but I also do not love my life most of the time so it's okay. I wish to be one of those people and I hope that when I read this blog post in ten years (or even five), I'll be happy

Thank you for reading this long text, hugs,

Pluto

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